Dec. 4th, 2016

Let's not name names, let's not point fingers, yes? Let's just talk it out...

That one friend who:

Is trapped in a vicious circle making the same mistakes over and over again. "I've learned my lesson this time!" then 2 weeks, 3 months, half a year later is worried about her new boyfriend, same as the old boyfriend, because he can't pay his rent (or his bail or his child support), and she doesn't want to give him money but isn't she basically obligated to?

No, you tell her, and try to distract her since calm reasoning doesn't work.

That same friend who:

Thinks nothing through but excitedly jumps into action. The one who blurts out secrets or painful truths - far more painful than they should be, because the blurting-words are the harshest words. The same truth could be said slower, with more caring, more couth. It would be the same truth, but better, because you wouldn't have to watch her eyes get wide or hear the same old/same old panicked apologies and explanations fly out of her mouth.

It's okay, you tell her, because you know she meant well.

And that exact friend, once again, who:

Goes out, again and again, sparkling and witty and brave, for just long enough to get attention. Then she eats up the attention, thrives on it, stands up straighter, eyes are sparklier, wit is faster. Attention is her candy, her sugar rush. You watch her subsummation, inevitable, drawing her away from you and completely into this new person's world, where she doesn't exist except as a mouthpiece to talk about how GREAT things are going.

You wait, glance at your clock now and then, because you know she'll reappear when the rush of the crush is gone, wending her way back to your shared world, knowing she'll cycle straight back to #1, "I've made a huge mistake, but I've learned my lesson this time!"

Somewhere in that cycle, That One Friend is a great friend, or else why would you be my her friend? Maybe someday I'll she'll finally learn those lessons, and I'll she'll be just a friend, not That One Friend.

Life goals, I guess.

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