LJ Idol: Abandon all hope...

I went out that night for cheese curds and beer
In some tight pants that showed off my derriere
Scooped up the friends who were on a tear
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

Arrived at the bar, got a table for eight
Ordered the crazy-sized fried cheese plate
On your mark, get set, go, open the gate
To shovel it down before it coagulates

Halfway through there was a pang in my rear
Stomach rumbling, cramps so severe
I wished my intestines would disappear
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

I fled to the bathroom, locked the door
Skidded to the toilet on the slippery floor
"Never again!" I think I swore
As I fell to the toilet and released the gore

Fried cheese curds & bubbles, it became clear
Turn my insides out & eminently queer
I apologized for the smell to the next toileteer
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here


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