LJ Idol: The mousetrap
Apr. 13th, 2014 04:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinnamongirlDerrick stretched, yawned, and chewed on a piece of straw while sauntering over to the drafting table. He peered over Brad's shoulder and made a long sucking noise as Brad tapped the pencil against the table.
"Seriously, don't chew that thing in my ear," Brad snapped, and erased another line, his brow furrowed.
Derrick just sniffed and examined the blueprint, and after long minutes pointed to a section in the middle of the plan. "I think it's there. I think we can fit it in there, and not bother with anything else. See, once they get to that tunnel (gesturing off to the upper left), there's no going back anyway, so why make it more complex than it has to be?"
Brad cocked his head to the left, then the right, peered closer and wished for glasses, reared back and squinted in thought.
"Derrick, I think you may have it. Can't believe I didn't see it before, in fact. It's such a small change it won't affect the load-bearing walls at all, and won't change the cost much either!" Brad was so relieved he didn't even twitch when Derrick started chewing open-mouthed on the straw, still talking.
"If we move that thingy 2 cm over and replace it with that, with that, you know what I mean... It could work!" Derrick settled his thumbs into his belt loops and looked extremely smug.
Brad shook his head in wonder. When he'd asked for help on this project Derrick had been the only one to volunteer, so they trooped off to the little office in the back of the barn as often as possible. Through stifling heat, dust and hay flakes, working around the stablehands' schedules, stealing every moment they could, they had drawn and planned and erased and redrawn.
Brad had to admit, despite his almost complete lack of engineering or construction knowledge and his deeply irritating personal habits, Derrick had surprisingly helpful flashes of insight.
Brad, so carefully, erased a few lines, drew new ones in a few centimeters over, made a notation for the builder to add a tiny spring, and dropped the pencil. It would be the best mousetrap any mouse had ever seen. Sleepless days and nights blended together while he and Derrick despaired. Or really, Brad despaired and Derrick chewed through half a bale of hay, claiming it helped him think. But it was done and none too soon, for the courier was coming in the morning.
Brad and Derrick beamed at each other. "We'll be famous! Our names will go down in history!" Derrick exclaimed, and indeed they became known all throughout mousedom as the heroes who ensured the best mousetrap in the world had an escape hatch.
"Seriously, don't chew that thing in my ear," Brad snapped, and erased another line, his brow furrowed.
Derrick just sniffed and examined the blueprint, and after long minutes pointed to a section in the middle of the plan. "I think it's there. I think we can fit it in there, and not bother with anything else. See, once they get to that tunnel (gesturing off to the upper left), there's no going back anyway, so why make it more complex than it has to be?"
Brad cocked his head to the left, then the right, peered closer and wished for glasses, reared back and squinted in thought.
"Derrick, I think you may have it. Can't believe I didn't see it before, in fact. It's such a small change it won't affect the load-bearing walls at all, and won't change the cost much either!" Brad was so relieved he didn't even twitch when Derrick started chewing open-mouthed on the straw, still talking.
"If we move that thingy 2 cm over and replace it with that, with that, you know what I mean... It could work!" Derrick settled his thumbs into his belt loops and looked extremely smug.
Brad shook his head in wonder. When he'd asked for help on this project Derrick had been the only one to volunteer, so they trooped off to the little office in the back of the barn as often as possible. Through stifling heat, dust and hay flakes, working around the stablehands' schedules, stealing every moment they could, they had drawn and planned and erased and redrawn.
Brad had to admit, despite his almost complete lack of engineering or construction knowledge and his deeply irritating personal habits, Derrick had surprisingly helpful flashes of insight.
Brad, so carefully, erased a few lines, drew new ones in a few centimeters over, made a notation for the builder to add a tiny spring, and dropped the pencil. It would be the best mousetrap any mouse had ever seen. Sleepless days and nights blended together while he and Derrick despaired. Or really, Brad despaired and Derrick chewed through half a bale of hay, claiming it helped him think. But it was done and none too soon, for the courier was coming in the morning.
Brad and Derrick beamed at each other. "We'll be famous! Our names will go down in history!" Derrick exclaimed, and indeed they became known all throughout mousedom as the heroes who ensured the best mousetrap in the world had an escape hatch.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-04-13 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-14 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 02:45 am (UTC)(Tangent, but also, I really like it when engineering or architectural types in fiction actually sit down and do things related to their work - a lot of times people introduce one of these types as shorthand for white-collar, or educated, or nerdy, or something, and don't explore the way they think.)
no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 11:26 pm (UTC)The engineering thing was sort of hard, I wanted it to be more technical, but I'm definitely not an engineer. One of my uncles is, though, and I tried to make Brad sort of a blend between him and my brother... I sort of wish I'd emailed my uncle to try and get actual building terms, though.
no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-15 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-16 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-19 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-16 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 10:24 pm (UTC)I actually had way more about that in there, but it wasn't working out right, sort of disrupting the story to be constantly mentioning the straw chewing.
But it IS SERIOUSLY ANNOYING when people chew in your ear ;)
no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 01:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-18 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-17 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-18 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-18 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-21 12:10 am (UTC)I'm actually intrigued by what could've been done to the story if they had been cats. Feeding chute that sends the mice directly to their mouths? I dunno.